Statistically significant

I’m pretty sure there is a statistical correlation between my stress level and bread consumption

Hungry? Toast.
Thinking? Sandwich.
Crying because deadlines? Pizza. (Let’s be real, pizza is just really, really fancy bread.)

In times of great despair and procrastination, I’ve been known to eat an entire, dry, bland sheet of matzo

I think it’s out of the subconscious hope that gluten will fill the void in my soul where the hope should be

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